Tips for coping with loneliness when moving to a new place
Whether you have moved to a new city, a new country, or a new home due to your partner’s job, to connect with your “home culture” again, or to permanently immigrate to in search of more opportunities, transitioning to a new country can come with a myriad of unexpected challenges. Yes, it can be filled with excitement and adventure too, but I do not want to dismiss the loneliness and grief that can come with migration. Moving to a new place means a recreation of yourself from the basics, and what can seem like a small task can be daunting when having to set up a doctor’s appointment has to be done in a whole new language, let alone in a whole new system. On top of the administrative tasks, building a community, making friends, and finding social connections can seem even more complicated. Recreating yourself and your community can take a toll on your well-being and begin to expose parts of yourself you never knew may have existed before. I decided to come up with a few tips to help you cope with the transition of moving to a new place, based on personal experience, the experiences of other internationals, and research.
Be patient with yourself
First and foremost, it is important to be kind to yourself. Easier said than done, am I right? Moving to a new place involves many processes (whether that be setting up your banking, finding an apartment, locating the grocery stores nearby, or finding a job). It is unrealistic to expect yourself to be able to be adapted and fully integrated into your new country right away. It takes time to discover your environment, find out what works for you, and meet people, as well as develop those connections. I know it can be exhausting and frustrating not knowing when the time will be that you will feel comfortable and “at home” in your new environment. However, what we know is that we human beings are adaptable creatures, and little by little, we make a home of where we are.
2. Allow yourself to grieve
Migrating to a new place often comes with many losses (sometimes invisible ones). These losses may include loss of relationships, loss of support networks, loss of security, loss of culture and language. Moving to a new place comes with many phases, and there often involves a grieving process for the previous place you lived in and all that came with it. You are allowed to feel lonely and sad, and grieve what you have left behind. Give yourself space to feel for yourself and share with your friends from back home. There is an adjustment period that include 5 stages of adaptation when moving to a new country: The Honeymoon Stage, Culture Shock, Adjustment, Mastery. See for more information about these stages: https://www.dwellgh.com/adapting-to-a-new-culture-the-4-stages-every-expat-will-have-to-go-through/
3. Acknowledge this is temporary
One important thing I have learned from moving often to new places is that the transitions and the adaptation period are temporary. They may feel like forever in the beginning, however, the more you get acquainted with those around you, your new environment, the new culture and create a new life for yourself, the more you will begin to feel like yourself, as well as at ease in your new place.
4. Say Yes to everything, from the beginning
I challenge you to say yes to all social invitations or propositions from the moment you step foot in your new country. Perhaps this may feel more draining if you are introverted. However, the importance of this lies in probability. The more you say yes to those around you, especially in the beginning, the more likely you are to be invited again, and the more likely you are to develop a social network you are happy with within a year’s time. Yes, it does take time to build friendships and find people you connect with and want to spend your time with. Sometimes this means spending time with other people first, in order to meet the people you might end up clicking with. This is how the chain of social connections works, one person can lead to 2, to 3, and before you know it the 4th person you are introduced to could end up being your best friend. I acknowledge that this is no easy feat, especially if you are already so busy with administrative tasks and perhaps already feel drained from the move. However, the importance of being connected from the beginning of the move, will set you up for less future isolation, even if the social interactions you have initially are not to your liking. I am not proposing you hang out with someone if they make you feel unsafe or not welcome, those you can definitely take a pass on. But challenge yourself to step outside your comfort zone and meet whoever you can. You never know what you might learn from them.
5. Attend group events for newcomers
On that note, finding communities that are important to you (whether that be a language exchange group, a choir, or a church) can be extremely helpful to feel part of a larger community and share tips and stories with other newcomers who are going through a similar move as you. Or who perhaps have moved a few years ago, and can share their knowledge and experiences about moving to this new specific city. There are many ex-pat groups and events organized. Some apps and websites I recommend are (MeetUps, InterNations - specifically for ex-pats, MundoLingo language exchange, Bumble BFF, etc.)
6. Explore what helps you feel connected
Moving to a new place can bring up a lot of questions about our identity and strips away what we knew before. Exploring yourself and reflecting on the following questions can be helpful. What makes you feel connected to yourself? What makes you feel connected to others? What makes you feel connected to a city? What do you feel connected to in this new country and culture?
7. Join a support group
There are many people who are in a similar situation as you and finding other people going through a similar experience can be a relief, help us feel less alone, and help us to learn different strategies to help us cope. It can be easy to think we are the only ones experiencing loneliness and sadness from moving, however there are many other expatriates in the exact situation as you. You are not alone.
8. Seek out professional support
Seeking guidance from a counsellor, therapist or psychologist, can be beneficial in exploring further the roots of your loneliness, as well as helping support you through this challenging time.
Madeleine Lefeuvre ©2025